Surprise.........

Yeah the weekend didnt go to well, wasnt as bad as normal. But there was still a significant amount of crap eaten. I did eat lots of veggies too, but they were totally cancelled out by all of the crap. And I totally forgot my laptop, so I am not going to back date and go over everything, bc honestly not a whole lot happened. Dustin and Mom did let me sleep until 9:30 this morning so that was freaking awesome!

So we will start again with dinner tonight.....meatball muffins, yes muffins, bc I didnt have enough hamburger to do an entire loaf. So meatball muffins and salad.

Im not good with coming up titles for my blog......

anyways....dinner went ok last night, no claws came out and I didnt even have a drop of alcohol. So take that how ever you want.

As of now I am counting down the minutes until Emma's nap time so I can get moving and douche the house. We have been gone pretty much every weekend the past couple of weekends and my house has been completely neglected and it totally shows. It is completely embarrassing how dirty it is.

Mom bought new/used furniture from a camp for our camp on Craigslist. Dustin went to pick that up this morning and is headed home with it now. He is then going to go finish a roof and then he wants to go to ME for the night. Which I was not expecting. I thought he would just drop the furniture off and then come home.

Which leads me to fooooooooooood. Currently eating a bowl of cereal. Have no idea what I will have for lunch and apparently we will be in ME for dinner and til whatever time we decide to come home tomorrow. We never eat healthy at camp, so I need to make a phone call to my mother to see what is up there and what I may need to pick up so I dont fall the band wagon!!!

Also, I will try to remember to bring my laptop, I think if it is there with me and I can continue to blog....that it will make me stay accountable, kwim???? Mom wont be happy about it as there are no "electronics" there. Which in all reality is really nice. And I am going to have to kife (sp) the neighbors wifi. GOOD TIMES!

dinner.......

As previously mentioned, dinner was ham......way to salty for my liking, not a big fan of ham to begin with. Potatoes and mixed veggies. Ate way to many potatoes, bc I make them way toooooo goooooood. Thin slices, sprayed with olive oil, topped with a garlic herb seasoning and shredded cheddar bacon cheese.

I didn't have dessert, so that's a plus.

Tomorrow is another day! Bring it on, I am determined to do this!!!!!!

Begining of Daaaaay 1

So far so good, lol......feeling super gross today. Not that, that is different from any other day.

Fruit salad for breakfast, DD French Vanilla ice coffee xx skim and 4 splenda. My plan for lunch is the frozen Kashi meal out back in the freezer, hopefully that will hold true. The outlaws are coming for dinner tonight, I have a ham in the crockpot at home on low with a brown sugar glaze. I am not a big ham fan so that will probably do me some good tonight. The rest of the meal is not yet planned....there will be some vegetable and starch involved.

If I am not toooo drunk after they leave, I will try to report back. LOL

Here I GO!!!

I am not entirely sure where to start with all of this. I guess let me tell you where my brain is at this given moment in time. I am unhappy with me. I am unhappy in my body. There is no good excuse for me being as fat as I am. It all comes down to me making extremely poor choices and being lazy. I am a lazy person by nature....if given the choice to take a nap or go outside and do soemthing, chances are I will try to catch some extra ZZZZZZZZZZZ's. Again, no excuses. I make poor food choices. I love food all types. I love fruits and vegetables, but I love things that are unhealthy for me that much more. I need to find and get better habits. Exercise habits and better eating habits.

So this blog is going to serve as my diary.....if you choose to follow, I appreciate it. If not well than, I hope you found something more enjoyable to read.

My overall goal is obviously, yes to lose weight, but I would honestly be happy being able to be happy with my body and me.....and maybe find that confidence that I sooooooo want and used to have, or at least I thought I had.

In the end I hope I dont have to rename this blog Fat to Failure.....that would completely fucking suck!